Sharleen Joynt sipped her cocktail, embracing the giddiness that comes with being on a first date. They met online and now here they were, next to the floor-to-ceiling windows at New York City's Viceroy Hotel. The date felt casual and was going well, until the rush of pedestrian traffic outside caught Joynt's attention: Several girls were waving and pointing at her. Joynt, an opera singer, knew these girls weren't rabid fans of classical music; rather, they were among the millions of people across the country who watched her date a Venezuelan former professional soccer player on season 18 of ABC's The Bachelor. But her date didn't know that.
"I had to break that news," Joynt said. "It was awkward."
Returning to the real world after a stint on reality television requires a big mental recalibration. Everyone wants to know what it's like to spend time in front of the cameras and to acquire a fan base overnight. Watching the episodes when they air usually ends with you re-living the moment your heart was broken. If the producers were lucky, you even gave them an "ugly cry" somewhere along the way. It's a curious mix: both humiliating and ego-stroking.
With last night's conclusion of the 19th season of ABC's The Bachelor, a new crop of 30 women will now begin to navigate the benefits and inconveniences that come with returning to real life. What is it like to see yourself through the funhouse mirror crafted by The Bachelor's producers? How does spending weeks cooped up in a Los Angeles mansion, then traveling the world competing for the affections of one man or woman, affect contestants emotionally? We spoke to former Bachelor andBachelorette contestants, who told all.
Though there may be exceptions, all the contestants interviewed for this article said they were initially reluctant to appear on the show, only to end up being offered a spot in the cast and the promise of a unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. For Joynt, the offer proved too intriguing to pass up.
"I really almost didn't do it," Joynt said. "But then I felt like, I just don't want to regret not having done it." As a fan of the show, a peek behind the scenes was also enticing. "You go on it and you're like, 'This could bite me in the ass.' But I wanted to know how that sausage was made."
Sean Lowe, a contestant on season 8 of The Bachelorette and the star of season 17 of The Bachelor, was secretly nominated for The Bachelorette by his sisters, so a phone call from an ABC producer took him by surprise. "I told the casting director, 'Thank you for calling, but I would never do reality TV.' Before I hung up, she said, 'Think it over. At the very least, you could travel the world for free,'" Lowe said. "So I go work the next day, and I realize working really sucks, and a free vacation sounds really good right now. So that was my motivation behind getting on The Bachelorette."
Once Lowe arrived at the Bachelor mansion, however, he felt uncomfortable interacting with the other guys. "Admittedly, I was judging the other guys, thinking, 'No normal guys that I'd be friends with would do a reality show like that.' I realized that was extremely hypocritical because I was on there myself," he said.
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